Customer on phone: Hello, I have a question about this really obscure subject X
Staff: I'm sorry, but we can't help with that directly. You may want to- Customer on phone: I have called from Germany. Customer on phone: We're running an event and were hoping you'd like to bring a display? Staff: Thanks for thinking of us, but it's not something we do, although I do know a team who attend trade fairs and- Customer on phone: It's in a local park to and we've got lots of support from... launches into a long explanation of their event and how worthy it is without any pauses. Staff: That sounds like a great cause, but we don't have a team or facilities to support it. However- Customer on phone: Explains the gazebo and table they could offer, the promotion taking place....and more explanation about how deserving the cause is. Staff: Here's the number you need for the trade team.
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One from Staircase House on a vaguely Halloween theme. There were some genuinely funny peculiar things in that building, such as the infra red alarm on the stairs often being set off by nothing whatsoever/the old butler (depending on who you believed). However the kicker was visitors coming because they had heard that the building was haunted, and feeling a cold presence... - in a room which had a broken leaded window panel, so was evidently going to be colder, with a sudden drop as you walked near the window.
Many of the mghost fans didn't pick up the same feelings that regular staff did, which always made me feel like the spirits hid from the tourists "Oh bugger, it's half term, quick, under the stairs!" This happened once a month or so at a site where I worked with hand held audio tours. We would get a coach of old dears, some of whom instantly shoved the handset in a pocket and ignored it, some of whom stabbed buttons and confused it, and some of whom eagerly listened to every word going.
And the one who forgot that they needed to put their hearing aid on for a change, or turn it up. (Brilliantly, there are a couple of handsets which are screens, with the full tour in British Sign Language, rather than just offering profoundly deaf people a print out of the script.) Aahhhhh, one of those days when the phone doesn't stop ringing, and three of your colleagues are away, but amazingly all of the customers you talk to are cheerful, pleasant and don't expect you to bend the laws of physics at a moments notice; so when you can help them, they are surprised and thankful. It begins with helping a man currently in Taiwan arrange UK trains and book in advance so it didn't cost a fortune and take hours (this has nothing to do with us, and it often irks when someone expects us, rather than say, a train company or ticket website, to help them. However, he was so bewildered, yet clear and patient, he was a delight to help.) Then there was a phone call commencing "Hello, I'm calling from Afghanistan, and would like to arrange a visit in December. For reasons I can't explain, as this isn't a secure line, I won't have access to the Internet for a while, so can I sort things now? It'll give me something to look forwards to." Our answer was pretty much "yes to everything mate, Nd we really hope we see you in a few months." A rather international day! We do sometimes mock the colonials a little for being over awed by anything older than their settling in the Americas, and their tendency to forget that things were created prior to then, and in some cases still exist to this day. This chap however was a gem, he genuinely believed I was taking advantage of his American nativity and pulling his leg about standing parts of the building dating back that far.
Once I gave them the audio tour wands, he handed his directly to his wife and told me conspiratorially “She’ll listen to the whole damn thing, but I’m just going to get some great pictures of her looking like lady of the house.” As the house is full of replica furniture and is wholly hands on, he was very happy to have “Gotten a snap of her pouring tea like a real English lady.” :D (please don't turn this by having a crack at me about my understanding and perceptions of Americans and their history. I know some very bright and great Americans. I have also met some real doozies. Likewise, us Brits can be astonishingly dumb sometimes!) This is quite an old cartoon, drawn while working at Staircase House (great place, well worthy visiting Stockport for there, Bramall Hall, the Hat Museum, Air Raid Shelters and the marketplace. Then, leave before it gets dark...) and just after Most Haunted had done a live broadcast from the site. We had quite the procession of erm, unique, visitors after that show, including some who complained rather bitterly. Genuinely, a small pane of glass in a leaded window was cracked, and comment had been made on the "sudden and unusual drop in temperature" by a few people.
I may well draw up some of what went on behind the scenes of it in the future. Mistaking a smoke alarm for communications from beyond the grave on live TV? whoops. I'm not saying that it's not haunted, just that whatever is there had enough sense to dodge the TV crew ;) |
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February 2023
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