Phone calls I, and a public facing team member in a heritage venue, have both had this past four days:

"I can't find the option I want on the website drop down menu, so phoned to arrange it in person"
"The option isn't on the website because we don't offer it any longer."
"You don't offer it online?"
"At all, it's not an option we provide at all. You can - "
"Who do I need to talk to to get that option?"
"..."

"My son was playing on the balance beams yesterday and fell off them, so I wanted to raise it as a concern."
"I'm very sorry to hear that, was he hurt?"
"Not so much, but his trousers have been washed twice and are still stained, I think you need different wood chips or something dryer in that area."

"Can you tell me what the soup of the day is in the cafe?"
"Of course I can find that out for you if-"
"Why do you need to find it out? Why don't you know?"
"I'm not based in the kitchen, but can ask them."
"Well, I suppose that'll do."


"It says on your website that some of your collection is in storage, I explained to my wife that it means it isn't on show, and that we won't be able to get in there, but she insisted I call to make sure. We did a tour of the stores at a museum in Birmingham a few years ago, and now she pretty much forces me to check 'can we see in the stores' every time we visit somewhere with an archive. So I'm sorry, but I have to ask or I won't hear the end of it."

It's your child's birthday, it's your anniversary, it's your once in a lifetime visit to our country, it's your dad's special birthday, it's your honeymoon.

A special event occasions a special experience; taking a dino mad kid to a natural history exhibition, taking the missus on a guided tour of a stately home. But if you get in touch with a venue a couple of days before you plan to visit, find out that what you want to do or see is fully booked out or unavailable (and advertised as such for months in advance) and then play an emotional blackmail card, the odds are that staff will feel for you - but not be able to do a darn thing about it. 

Really, we'll want to help, we'll make suggestions for alternatives, we'll add your name to waiting lists. But if that guided tour is fully booked, we have good (insurance often) reasons why we can't "just squeeze two more on" and if that exhibition is closed we probably can't "let you have a peek" because it'll be covered in dust cloths, hoardings and workmen/curatorial staff, with most of the exhibits missing or not even on display. 

I hate saying no to people (I know, I whine a lot here, so that may be a shock) but it hurts knowing there is a disappointed kid whose parents have already said "Yeah! we can do that!" or a new spouse whose ideal honeymoon will be less ideal. 

So a plea, if you will, to plan ahead a bit - because at the very least, birthdays happen the same time each year - and the more warning you give your chosen museum, gallery, historic house, castle... the more likely the staff will be able to pull out the stops and make your day awesome. 

We want you to be happy, and we want to be the people who make that happen. So plan a little, and we can plan a lot.

I've seen a lot of museums, galleries, heritage sites and stately homes holding Easter egg hunts, find the bunny/chick/egg trails etc. This makes sense over a period when the kids are off school, you want to entertain those visiting you, and want to attract new visitors looking at a range of options - you tap into the reason for that holiday break.

This is the first year though when I've stopped and thought, but is this relevant, and in the long term, beneficial to those sites? 

These mistranslated signs often do the rounds, but being sent this I felt rather compelled to share. Beyond the usual rude, violence inducing or plain bewildering, this Zoo is apparently a pinnacle of "we'll translate the signs because we have to, not because we really want to". I'm very glad we stick to English in our venue, which may seem elitist,  but seems to work well for both sides of the equation. 

The Art Fund are taking applications from museums and galleries to be considered for their Museum of the Year prize.   

A panel of judges will decide the winner, but you can have your say on which museum or gallery you think has best bought its collections to life in 2012, and that information will help them "make sure all institutions that have been doing brilliant things are given the chance to apply." I'm not 100% sure what that means, but as it could lead to £100,000 for your favourite place, it's worth putting your opinion in!

The security guards often get a very different view to the attendants, not least of which is night duty. The ten minute rule for erm, frisky, visitors is a way to ensure they are approached at a moment just embarrassing enough to not try it again.